So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
