Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Is it because I queefed?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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