Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
