we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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