No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
