those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
