Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
