i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
