Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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