there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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