i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
