I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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