Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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