I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
