if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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