Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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