hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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