last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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