I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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