He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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