just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
