'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
