He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
