shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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