Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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