Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
