i permit you to call me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
