So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
