they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
