So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
