Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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