Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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