I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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