I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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