WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
