I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
