I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
