she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
