You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
