Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
