you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
420 ftw
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
