I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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