i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
