It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
