there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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