careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
