Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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