Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
