No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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