chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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