I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
There's always time for handjobs
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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