i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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