dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
