she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize